The Many Colors of Love
One lazy morning, I was sipping my coffee and staring out the window at the treetops across the street. My mind naturally started playing the movie reel of my life. Quickly, in and out of my mind popped visions of friends and family along with momentary excerpts of memories. One scene in particular made my mind take pause and examine the frame. I was twenty-something and probably in need of guidance and direction. I was unsure about college and my gap year had turned into multiple years. My very focused, driven, and hardworking father decided that he and I were going to refinish a piece of furniture. We would tackled the project every night after work, to its completion. The project my dad chose was to refinish my dresser. First, let me tell you about the dresser. In my teens, at the height of the red-white-and-blue 70’s era, I painstakingly painted my dresser - - yep, you guessed it, red, white, and blue. However, I did not just slap on the colors. Having been raised by organized, motivated and ambitious parents, I took on the project with the same vigor. I measured and outlined a checkerboard across the top of the dresser. With precision, I applied the blue painters’ tape in order to stay within the lines of my checkerboard pattern as I painted. I alternated the colors on each dresser drawer, red, then white, then blue and so on. I did the same alternating colors to each side of the dresser and reapplied the hardware. Every day, as I used my newly painted dresser, I marveled at my craftsmanship with personal pride. Shoot forward seven years and the colors have lost their popularity for painted furniture. Now, about my dad, he was a deep thinker and profound wordsmith. He would never blurt out “Let’s refinish your dresser.” He saw his daughter needed some direction. He also intuitively knew I would be exasperated at another lecture. I would be willing to bet good money that he thought long and hard about an activity that would accomplish the type of bonding that would welcome constructive communication. Before we ever applied the first coat of paint stripper, I imagine my father had the entire talk outlined in his mind. He, most assuredly, measured the allotted time we had each day to work on the piece and formulated the topic accordingly to flow as easily as the stripping, scrapping, and staining.
Many decades have passed since my father, and I occupied the garage for two weeks refinishing my dresser and discussing life. I would be lying if I said I remember every word of our multiple conversations. Having raised my own children, I understand wanting to choose the right words to broach difficult topics with them. It is not hard to imagine the words my father chose.
Stripping - - “When you evenly apply the stripping agent, now take your time, don’t be in a hurry, gently and evenly apply the stripper over one area, that’s it, now watch the paint bubble up, that’s when you start scrapping the old paint off. Careful not to scrap too deep or you will put a mark into the wood. The mark will be too deep for us to sand out and we won’t be able to repair it. We want to be able to see the beautiful wood grain when we are finished. That’s it, you got it. It’s important to always think ahead to the end result you are wanting to achieve. Stripping away the old and making way for the new.”
Scrapping - - “Careful how you scrap, you need to use gentle but firm motions in one direction. If you take your time and do it right, the sanding will be easier. Now, make sure you wipe the paint off your scrapper every stroke, because the paint will glob onto your scrapper and make a mess. Don’t throw the glob of paint on the newspaper lined floor because that will be another mess we have to clean up. I made a pile of rags, use each rag until its full of paint then pitch it in the garbage pail here. When you take your time and do it right you will have a beautiful piece of furniture, kind of like life.”
Sanding - - “Sanding is similar to scrapping only more important. Sanding is bringing to life your wood. It is very important to use the correct grit of sandpaper, not too rough or you will lose the beauty of the wood grain. Again, we must move in one direction, very slowly and with deliberate strokes. It is important to apply the same pressure with each stroke. That’s it, you got it. Look at the beauty of the wood grain coming through. You are bringing back to life your dresser in its original form, the way it was created by a craftsman.”
Staining - - “Staining is probably the most important decision when refinishing wood. The purpose is to highlight the integrity of the wood grain, not to overshadow it with a stain that is too dark. We will use a very soft cloth and massage the stain into the wood with tiny circles then finish with long rubs along the grain. You are really good at this, next time you could probably do this all on your own. If you take your time and do the right steps you can change anything.”
Lacquer - - “Lacquer is a way to protect your project, seal in all your hard work. Lacquer needs to be applied with a good brush, usually an expensive one that will not leave brush marks or fall apart in the middle of the project. Lacquer needs to quietly shine - not boldly cause a glare that will take away from the charm of the wood. Now with patience and purpose, you can protect any project when just enough lacquer is applied.”
Finished dresser - - “Now aren’t you proud? Look at this handsome dresser and you did this all by yourself. This is a dresser you can take with you wherever you go. Now you know how to take one thing and turn it into another right before your very eyes. All you need are the right tools, a little bit of elbow grease and determination - and voila - you will have any result you desire.”
I have hauled that dresser from one side of the United States to the other. I adore that dresser. The tongue and groove handmade drawers are not lost on me towards craftsmanship. The wood grain boasts “I have aged well.” My father is no longer with us, however, the memory of the love he had for his daughter remains. Each time I open and close the dresser drawers or polish the wood to a shine, I am automatically transported back to those two weeks that my dad thought it important enough to bond with his daughter. From the scraping off the old red, white, and blue to exposing the true colors of the natural wood grain, my dad taught me that life itself is a series of scrapping, sanding, polishing - - repeat. If you take your time and do it right, you will have at the result you envisioned from the beginning.